Friend zoned after sex, then blocked F30 here.

2022.01.22 14:07 Inevitable-Toe9009 Friend zoned after sex, then blocked F30 here.

(I apologize to this that have read this before)
I was seeing this guy (M26) for two months. We met as a ons, but became friends afterwards (This was the first time I was intimate and even kissed someone in 8 years). He was upfront that he wasn’t ready for anything serious since he just had stopped smoking marijuana (had smoked every day during covid, and just wanted us to be friends, but he understood if I didn’t want to be friends with him (he also, and still does, do coke and Molly on weekends. I don’t do any drugs)).
But I was ok with just being friends. I liked his energy, and also I could not see something serious in the future since he does drugs and said that he was not ready to “grow up” yet. Since I’m F30 I’m ready for a husband and kids. But he was kind and different from any other friend I have. I must admit though that I did carry a hope that he would quit the drugs and “grow up”.
We hung out for two months and texted almost every day. He was very attentive to me and my needs. Showering me with kind words and affection. We really enjoyed each other’s company. We were also attracted to each other, so he started texting me during the weekends if he could go home with me while we both were out. But we discussed that it would not be a good idea that we had sex, as it could complicate the friendship. Also, he was afraid he would hurt me if I developed feelings (which I already was, unconsciously), and he didn’t. But the last time I saw him, we ended up having sex after I said: you won’t hurt me, because we can’t be anything serious. I want a husband and kids, and you want to do drugs and “not grow up”.
The sex was amazing, we were really comfortable and affectionate with each other. We just napped, cuddled and then had sex again. And this was how the whole night went. Probably went on like this for twelve hours or so.
I texted him about how fun it was and that I was exited for the next time. I also apologised for not being able too keep it platonic, but that it was hard to, given that I liked him, and he turned me on. He agreed on everything.
But then he got covid and had to be isolated. He later pulled away. Ha answered all my texts, but never initiated or asked questions back. When I confronted him on this he said that he didn’t want me as anything else than his friend. That he had come to the realisation that he actually wanted something serious, just not with me. We were more compatible as friends. He didn’t want someone that was like him (we both have low self esteem issues, and I have adhd and ocd. We are also both massive over thinkers), but someone different from him. So I guess the kind of person I will never be, since I have adhd. This was really hurtful, as it hit a nerve. He told me to not take this as a loss, I was a fantastic person, there was nothing wrong with me, he thought I was genuine and kind throughout my whole being. And that I should go find a great guy to be with.
I was bummed, but agreed. This was what we had discussed prior. But then he still was pulling away. He then said that he had noticed that I had feelings for him, and he didn’t want to hurt me. We agreed to meet, but then he cancelled. We got into a fight and he then said that he wanted us to stop talking, that this was best for both of us. I kept pushing for a face to face meeting, and also at a dark moment asked if he could come over for sex, which he kindly declined. After seeing him high on a photo, I said that I did not agree that we shouldn’t be in contact. He then replied that he cared for me, I should not worry about him and his drug use, he would quit one day, just not now, he was not ready to “grow up” and kindly asked me to not contact him again Or else he would have to block me.
All along he was still following me on socials, and always viewed all of my stories. I had a melt down after his first message about not having feelings for me, and posted 40 stories about how great my year had been. I felt like such a looser reacting that way. I just wanted him to see that my life actually is great etc. Which it is, but I’m still sad that he don’t want any part of it. I deactivated Instagram after this melt down. I know my friends enjoyed watching my year, but since I knew why I posted it, it was a bitter taste. But I kept SnapChat. I was never big on snapping, but suddenly started posting to my`story there. Again, he always watched what I posted. Even after he asked me to kindly not contact him again. But then two days later he blocked me on all platforms. I had not contacted him, but I guess he felt that I was communicating through mystory, which I kind of did.
I struggle with accepting that he didn’t have feelings for me, since he was showering me with affection. Never experienced that before. He told me about his family and friends, showed me images, asked when he saw a photo in my apartment of my nephews if they were his future nephews (I know he joked, but still). He asked me to meet him out with his friends. He told me about his issues, and his secrets. I felt close to him. He told me that he had never been with a woman as beautiful as me before. He always responded to my texts, almost immediately. Would always show up on time, and would confirm our plans 1-2 hours in advance. Even though there were red flags, and that he on paper was not right for me, he was so easy to be around. I felt relaxed and seen. Accepted.
He was the one to first suggest being intimate, even though he always apologised for those text messages the morning after. But when we actually had sex, I was the one to initiate. So I understand that I’ve done this to myself.
Ive been a complete mess since he told me that he realised that he actually wants a girlfriend, but that I’m not the one. And after he blocked me, I have almost not eaten anything. I’ve lost 4 kg the last two-three weeks. I feel like a psycho that pushed until he blocked me. But I just wanted a face to face conversation. I have not seen him since we had sex and thought everything was great. I’ve gone from heaven to hell.
Did he never have feelings for me? Will he ever unblock me? I told him upfront that I struggle understanding my feelings, so I didn’t think I have ever been in love, only “hooked on the hope of love”. Maybe I’m hooked again, but I feel like this is different. I actually feel like I fell for him.
Is there a slight chance he might miss me and feel like we actually were a good match? I know I can’t do anything else than focus on me now. I can’t contact him - he obviously don’t want me to. But is there any chance he’ll come back into my life? I know two months is a short time, but he really got under my skin and I really care for him and worry about his drug use. Since I have ocd I have a need for control, I know, it’s not cute... and him not “existing” anymore, and me not knowing how he is doing, given his issues, I’m really worried. I maybe shouldn’t worry, his life most likely is fine without me, maybe even better than with me in it, given that he blocked me. I just worry.
so I’m hurt he doesn’t have feelings for me, I’m hurt he is not in my life, I’m hurt he blocked me, I worry about his mental issues, and I worry about his drug use. And this is all driving me crazy. And I am really confused about the fact that he just didn’t want me, even though he fancy me, cared for me, and enjoyed our friendship.
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Me: In the Midwest. Gemini. Cat-less cat lady. Healing. Introvert. Sarcastic. Brat. Crochets. Cross stitches. Sucker for southern accents. Seasonal saddie. Year long baddie.
You: Younger than 40. Older than 25. In the US. Dad bod. Has a dominant side. Tall. Not a republican. Not an Aquarius.
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Personally I would love to see:

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  2. Carmelo Hayes
  3. Xia Li (maybe even Boa & Mei Ying)
  4. LA Knight
  5. Sarray
  6. Damian Priest
  7. Creed Brothers (with Malcolm Bivens)
  8. Meiko Satamura
  9. MSK
  10. Doudrop
  11. Cameron Grimes
  12. Dexter Lumis
  13. Indi Hartwell
  14. Zoey Stark
  15. Kacy & Kayden
  16. Ilja Dragunov
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Branch=Serious RP/MILSIM
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Mods=ACE3, RHS, Many custom mods and factions
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Please avoid story spoilers if possible.
I’ve seen a picture of all types of poke balls in the game, what are the blue and white ones, and modern green coloured poke ball in game and their purpose? I already know the main story point of time travel (but little else) so if the answer is related to that I don’t mind knowing. The different poke balls fascinate me and I haven’t been able to find a clear answer (admittedly that might be because I’m trying to avoid major story spoilers wherever possible lol)
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Does anyone know if there's such a refill that would be compatible?
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2022.01.22 14:07 StxxboyXOXO Afterlife would resemble BBTM

I noticed that AH and Dawn Fm strongly resemble trilogy and kissland respectively--

  1. AH resembles trilogy u can't deny it !!
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  3. According to the pattern, Afterlife should resemble BBTM. Starboy won't get anything like this cuz weeknd himself said starboy was just an album, not an era.
(I am pretty sure bout this theory)
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